The One Where Miranda Hates A (ex) Liberal.

 Don't fret dear readers, the HCQ lives (though it does appear to be on life support) and we haven't forgotten you. 

Column.  

You had to feel for Marcia Langton on ABC TV's Q&A panel this week, stuck between two men so terminally pompous, out of touch and in love with the sound of their own voices you felt at times they might fall stiffly off their chairs and writhe on the ground in private ecstasy.

You have to feel for SMH readers, twice a week your dribble causes them to fall from their chairs, writhing in pain.

Malcolm Fraser and Peter Carey, fresh from the Sydney Writers' Festival, are the sorts of self-styled intellectuals who give thinking a bad name.

Miranda Devine, journalism, bad name. You see where I'm going here.

Now comes news that Fraser formally quit the Liberal Party in December because it's too conservative for him. The former prime minister quit in spirit a long time ago. He seems eaten up with the need to settle old scores and be proved right on every little point, a sad state to be in at the age of 80.

And he's probably right, unlike the current Liberal party, Fraser didn't paint refugees as an invading horde of heathens intent on destroying our way of life. Nor was he an advocate of free market policies, both of which seem to now be the core of the unfortunate group of people that make up the Coalition.

He has always gone out of his way to malign and belittle John Howard, his one-time treasurer who well and truly eclipsed him in the PM stakes. How it must have rankled that some half-deaf nerd from Canterbury Boys' High could best him

Or, he thought John Howard was a terrible PM. 

He showed himself on Monday night to be no better a friend to Tony Abbott

Perhaps because Mr Abbott is the reincarnation of John Howard?

Better yet was his confident claim that the British and American governments knew Saddam Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction and the Howard government, if it didn't know, "should have".

He's obviously been reading too much Green Left Weekly, or perhaps he gets his history from the Hollywood conspiracy genre of Green Zone. Even the host, Tony Jones, didn't pursue this fruitcake line.

That truly is a fruitcake line. Is Fraser seriously suggesting that before entering a war, the then Government should have used it's intelligence sources to independently verify the reason for said war? Lock that man up, I mean it's not as if the reason turned out to be fake...

While spruiking his memoirs earlier this year, Fraser denied that he had become a leftie, insisting he had not changed but the Liberal Party had lurched to the right.

Haven't we been over this already, or is it just that all of Miranda's dribble just melds into one mind numbing lump?

The odd thing is that he would have done a lot more damage to conservatives if he'd remained in their ranks. Instead, he's turned into the crabby old Muppet Statler, harmlessly heckling the rest of the cast from his balcony seat.

That may be true Ms Devine, but at least he's doing it at the age of 80, rather than in his 40's or 50's like some people. 

The One Where Miranda Confesses Her Undying Love For Malcolm Turnbull

Everyone knows that Miranda Devine is fond of any Coalition member, but her worship of Malcolm Turnbull is bordering on scary.

Column: A worthy assignment for Turnbull - saviour of NSW. 

The NSW Opposition Leader has been mighty magnanimous in offering to embrace Malcolm Turnbull "with open arms" to state politics.


By magnanimous, do you mean stupid? Why would Barry O'Farrell, a man who never seems to do anything want a well known, power hungry person like Turnbull anywhere near state politics?


He could enter state parliament via a byelection by July, giving him nine months before the election.


That's exactly what NSW residents want, more changes in political leaders. Seriously, can we just have two leaders contest an election based around releasing constructive policy rather than having a new leader every full moon?


Debnam ran unsuccessfully for premier in a campaign memorable only for his budgie smugglers, and doesn't have many prospects.


Debnam is to politics as Devine is to journalism.


If he were premier he could work on his pet projects of the republic and an emissions trading scheme in NSW.


I think Miranda Devine is confused. NSW is a state of, not a separate country from Australia, so working on a republic movement would be a little silly. As for the working on a an emissions trading scheme, I think Mr Turnbull might be a little gun shy on trying to introduce the kind of policy which lost him the lead of the federal opposition.


Far from being a job beneath his talents, he would have a far greater impact on the nation by fixing the NSW basket case.


Of course, everybody knows that the Premier of NSW is the countries most powerful person, as we speak Kristina Keneally is unifying North and South Korea.


It could be the experimental laboratory for his grand plans and visions and boundless energy.


Yeah, great idea. Here we have the most populated state in Australia with the biggest state economy which is currently falling apart, so rather than having a leader with a plan to get us out of this mess we'll let Malcolm use it as his private plaything.


He could create Sydney in his own image, with reforms to state finances, public transport, power generation, taxes, property development, and greenness. 


I know this might come as a shock Miranda, but NSW stretches past the outskirts of Sydney.


He could build museums, art galleries, roads and rail.


He's faster than a speeding bullet, he can leap tall buildings with a single bound. What? I thought with all the hyperbole this article was about Superman.


Just by being Malcolm, he would attract new talent and investment to the state and get sullen business on board. As the state began to shine, we would worship at his feet.



And children would sing his name with admiration in their hearts, animals would do his bidding, when Malcolm cries it rains. For He is Turnbull and He is all powerful.


The bipartisanship he was so good at would serve him well, as Kevin Rudd would be happy to lavish largesse on an invigorated NSW government cranking up the engine of the national economy.


The kind of bipartisanship that involves using fake emails as a means to force the Prime Minister out of power? I'm sure Kevin Rudd would be happy to give him anything after that. 
"What's that Malcolm, you want my first born? No worries, he's all yours."


Turnbull would singlehandedly raise the prestige of state governments around the country, restoring the federation to its rightful place.



How exactly? The one thing Turnbull will be remembered for is "Utegate," an affair where prestige was left by the wayside.


At worst, he would be remembered as the saviour of Australia's most important state. At best, he could achieve his lifelong ambition of becoming prime minister, having spent the barest time languishing in opposition, for which he's constitutionally unsuited.



Firstly, I'm still waiting for any proof of how Malcolm Turnbull could save NSW. Secondly, are the Coalition going to welcome him back after working out when the going got tough?


He and his wife Lucy would have fun creating their own little Camelot in the Emerald City he loves, his lifestyle would barely change and the commute to Macquarie Street would be a pleasure.



MALCOLM TURNBULL DOES NOT FUCKING OWN SYDNEY!!!


The same insider, however, agrees that if Turnbull were to become leader, the opposition "would be so far out in front, daylight would run second''.



Jack the Ripper, running on a policy of two free murders for each person could beat the incumbent NSW government.


All that remains is a groundswell of public opinion to appeal to Turnbull's natural civic mindedness. But, so far, the Facebook page "Malcolm Turnbull for NSW premier" has only nine fans.



There is no groundswell. Nothing more needs to be said.